Life

Sometimes,
or maybe even at many times..
I sit aside,
and watch people pass me by..
While deep inside,
things run in my mind.
I think and ask why,
but there never were a reason why.

Tears fill up my eyes,
as I break down and cry.
No one there by my side,
to help put out the fire that's burning inside.
I hold my tears in my twinkling eye,
trying my best to hide.
But is that what I want in life,
to hide and keep them all inside?
What more, accumulating it deep inside into my unconscious mind?

Why is it everytime I want to let it all outside,
my heart speaks only inside,
as I find it so hard just to express what's in my mind?
Why is it also that I am shy,
that inside me I cry,
I cry for something that's shining out so bright,
I call for it so loud hoping they hear me right,
but again it's all going on inside,
hardly anyone hears the heart that's calling and crying,
and so in the end I have to loose sight,
let go what my heart desires inside.
No, but the way I expressed sounded as if I am in love right?

Then maybe you say I should speak, smile and laugh more, sure, fine.
But each time I do so, dark cloudy rain and thunder stirke me blind.
Strike me when I'm happy whether during the day or night.

For all my life,
I don't even know why..
For all that complicated situation that applies,
so many questions with no replies..
And neither any reasons why.

All my life,
from little to big problems they all collide..
crashing and waiting for it's time..
hoping that time will heal the pain inside..
But sadly, time is only a temporary plaster that won't last all my life.
And all that matters were burried into my unconscious mind,
letting me break down even without any reason to why.

You might ask me... Why?
What is the main problem that makes me break down and cry?
I question myself and this is what I find.
It's mainly every single thing in life,
from school to home to people I pass by,
they somehow bring tears to my eyes..
And yet again you'll still ask me why.
It's so hard for me to express what's hidden inside!

Trying so hard to stand up in life,
it is He who supports and listens to me when I cry..
Doing what I can to stay strong in life,
making life a worth journey before the day I die..
for we are the reason that He gave His life,
that He suffered and died on the cross so that we may have life.
Life.
Tell me, what would life be if Jesus weren't by my side?

- Jesslyn